Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Am I a horrible, unreasonable person?

WARNING: Rant ahead.

Hubby wants to get a dog when we move.  I don't.  And neither do the kids. 

I have to admit to being a dog-hater.  Sorry, but it's the truth.  I just don't get the appeal; never have.  The drool (ick)...the sniffing people's arses (double ick)...the licking (eww)...the barking (gah, the barking!)...the poop (nasty)...the play-biting(so annoying)... yeah, I could live a perfectly happy life without ever owning a dog. 

Then there are the kids.  They are afraid of dogs.  And not just a little afraid.  I'm talking running-screaming-climbing-up-mommy-in-fear-for-their-lives afraid of dogs.  None of them want to have a dog.  Ever.  I used to be similarly afraid of dogs, so I sympathize with them and recognize that "forcing them to face their fear" is stupid and not helpful.  They may outgrow it someday, but not as long as people push them to.

Keeping this in mind, I am thoroughly convinced that if he gets a dog I will go completely insane.  Yeah, I know I'm already halfway there, but this would send me over the top.  One of the main selling points for moving as far as the kids are concerned is that we will have acres and acres in which to run and play.  But since they are afraid of dogs, they won't be able to use any of it.  They will refuse to go outside, and will drive me crazy with cabin fever in our little house in the middle of nowhere.  Which would mean I would have to chain the dog up to maintain my sanity.  Even though I hate dogs, I am fully aware that that is no life for a dog.  I would not want to have to do that.

And then there is the matter of who would end up taking care of the animal.  Because it sure as hell wouldn't be me or the kids.  Hubby will have a one-hour commute.  Which means he will have to leave very early in the morning, and arrive home late for dinner.  And if the past eleven years are any indication, when he finally gets home, he will plop down in front of the tv, remote in hand, and ask "someone" to get him a beer.  He won't have the time, energy or inclination to train a dog.  He won't want to spend that time cleaning up after it, or teaching it to carry a bird in its mouth without crushing it, or getting it to understand "sit", "stay" and "shut up".  And the dog would be terribly neglected.  The kids and I will not train it, love it, or clean up after it.

Now, I do understand that a family is not a republic, and we're not voting on it, but if we were it would be four to one against.  And the way I see it, the kids and I are sacrificing enough just by agreeing to move from the home we love to a house half the size, in the freezing cold middle of nowhere in North Dakota.  We should not be forced to live with a dog.

So...if you've made it through this entire rant, give me a little feedback.  Am I unreasonable? Am I a terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad person because I hate dogs? (I hesitated to even post this, because I know many people will think that of me)  Or is Hubby the one being unreasonable?


  1. I don't think you are unreasonable at all, even though our dog doesn't drool, sniff people's crotches, bark, or play-bite. He does poop, but it's small. :) I do hope your girls can someday get to know a dog like our Eli, even if you never have one in the family.

  2. Each time I think "maybe" someone tells me a story that makes me glad I don't have a dog. I do like them, but cats are so much easier.

  3. I don't think you're unreasonable. There seem to be a lot of "cons" to getting one. The dog won't get the attention it needs and the one person who actually wants it will be gone from it for most of the week. I'm not much of a dog person either. I don't mind them but I don't want one really. I hope you all can come to an agreement on it :)

  4. Where's the dog gonna stay when it snows? Not outside. Not in the garage.

  5. You're not being unreasonable. Dogs need time and interaction. Trained hunting dogs take a lot of work!! He's not going to provide it, and the rest of the family isn't able to. So it wouldn't be fair to you or the dog.

    But well trained dogs are a bit different than your description! I wouldn't like dogs either if they were all that way!


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